Do You Know How To Get A Second Date With A Woman Part 1
Ninety percent of the woman I go out with on a first date (and most of these are blind dates), want to have a sexual relationship with me by the end of the date. So guys have asked me. 'What is the biggest mistake guys make on the first date that prevents ever having a second date or developing a sexual relationship (rather than a friendship) ?'
Well there are several mistakes a guy can make. Let me summarize them here then go into more detail.
1) Talking about yourself too much. Trying to be interesting instead of INTERESTED
2) NOT ASKING QUESTIONS AND NOT LISTENING ENOUGH.
3) FOCUSING TOO MUCH ON SEX - either overtly or by innuendo.
4) NOT USING SUBTLETIES ENOUGH (What a woman understands)
5) NOT DEVELOPING SEXUAL FLOW OR INTEREST.
6) NOT CREATING FUTURE. (A relationship is ALL about FUTURE.) The first mistake that most guys make is that they go on the first date and talk all about themselves, sort of strut around telling the girl that he's got this car, and he's got this job and he talks and talks and talks bragging about this and that trying to impress the girl that he is a good catch.
What a girl sees is a self-centred egomaniac that isn't going to be able to take care of her at all, because he is not interested in her and doesn't listen to what she has to say. Not a good relationship prospect. Another way of saying it is that guys try to be interesting.
They figure they have to be interesting for a girl to be interested in them. Sorry guys, but it doesn't work that way. You have to be INTERESTED in the girl, not INTERESTING to get her attention. Did you ever see two interesting people on a date. It is hilarious! They are both so busy trying to be interesting to the other that neither has time to be interested in the other.
If you don't know what I am talking about, think what makes you feel better. A girl who is INTERESTED in you? Or a girl who is telling you how cool she is, how hot she is, etc. and all kinds of other INTERESTING things. INTERESTING leads to a lot of rejection and 'platonic' friendships by the way.
Girls will be friends with a guy who is really interesting. Why? Girls like to be amused and entertained. Interesting men are sort of like children to them. A source of non-sexual amusement and pleasure.
Then there are the guys who are SCARED S***less and don't know what to say. So they say all kinds of useless and banal and irrelevant stuff to again be INTERESTING to the girl.
Then there are guys who dread silence. So whenever there is a silent moment they feel awkward and have to fill the silence with some noise, so they open their mouths and say something trite and banal again just to keep the conversation going and again to be INTERESTING to the girl.- THEY AREN'T. You don't have to fill silence with verbal chatter. Maybe it is a good time for some non-verbal communication - like a smile, or a light touch.
90% of the girls I have a first date with want to go out with me again and have a relationship with me. WHY, well the biggest factor is I am INTERESTED in getting to know them. So I never come scripted, I am always just there and I ask questions designed to get to know the person in front of me.
Well, I just said part of it, so here is it all I AM INTERESTED. I ASK QUESTIONS and then I LISTEN TO THE ANSWERS. Based on the answer they give, I may ask another question or I might say something that I know they would be interested in knowing because of what they just said. MOST of the time I spend about 80% of my time on a date LISTENING. Girls like that.
ANOTHER BIG MISTAKE GUYS MAKE that prevents a second date is putting too much conversation attention on sex, sexual topics, sexual innuendos, and her looks.
ALL WOMEN THINK that ALL GUYS JUST WANT SEX. So basically, they are right and guys have to realize that girls have our number and are not impressed by it. GIRLS already KNOW you want sex. She wouldn't even be there on the first date, if she weren't vaguely OK with the concept of having sex with you. What she wants to know is: WHAT ELSE do you want; what ELSE do you like about her; what ELSE can you do for her; what ELSE do you have in common with her; how ELSE can you have fun together.
So, LISTEN to what she talks about, because If you listen you will get clues.
GIRLS communicate in SUBTLETIES and like to be communicated to with SUBTLETIES.
As a rule I NEVER tell a good-looking woman she is good looking until the 3rd or 4th date. That is a subtle communication that tells her that I am not like all the other guys who kiss her behind.
So, you see, you don't have to tell a woman how pretty she is on a first date. (Especially if she is gorgeous, because she gets so much of this so often, it actually becomes a turn-off to her.) You can complement her on her dress, or her shoes, or you can say she has a nice personality (find something non-sexual you like about her and complement it) or you could say (but only once and non-repetitively) she has pretty eyes, or a cute nose, or a nice smile, or she has pretty hands. (Always pick a non-sexual part of the body to complement)
So if you don't talk about yourself and sex. What DO you talk about? Talk about whatever the girl wants to talk about. LISTEN, and base your conversation off of what she is interested in. Ask questions about her . BUT you should have two goals for the night....
Part One | Part Two